Students Find College Application Process Very Frustrating

Dear College Application process,

It’s not me, it’s you. For some strange reason, I thought August 1, 2011, would be a day that all of my college aspirations would come true. Now that I am a month and a day into the process, none of them have come true. Below are some problems I have with a few components of your being:

1) The College Board
For the vast majority of us seniors, our college search begins with the College Board. The problem with the College Board is that it gives you too much freedom in the beginning. You just let us keep pressing “Add to List” so that after your first initial search you have every Ivy and Stanford on your list. And in your mind, you justify this obscenity by citing the lady in the corner saying, “Remember: You’re More Than Your Numbers!” But yet, the College Board specializes in numbers. They give tests, take your money, and give you the dates for just about everything. This could just be my bias from watching The Perfect Score the other night, but if I happen to be in Princeton, New Jersey, believe me I would attempt to steal the SATs.

2) The Common Application
First off, it’s not that common (Georgetown). The Common App asks for too much information. Please tell me how my parents divorce date helps me get into college? And my favorite word? Really Princeton? If I was going to apply there, my answer to that question may have to be “why?” Only because I have to ask why you care about my favorite word anyway and how the hell it’s going to effect your decision. If, of the endless confusions I have surrounding the Common App, the College Gods could resolve only one, it would have to be the camouflaged ‘Save & Check for Errors’ button. If you notice, at any other website where you need to save or continue something, they have the ‘Save’ button highlighted, bigger or italicized, maybe all three. Their goal is that it is obvious! But no, not on the Common App. Of the list of all of the things that I find to be important in my adolescent life, getting into college is rather high. So for the thousands of people that use the Common App, that have those same desires, I would expect that the holy ‘Save’ button would be treated as having the same stature. So please Common App, fix this very evident and pressing problems.

3) Supplements

If another school asks me to elaborate on an experience that has impacted me, I might just write about this application process. I am losing my mind over how many short answer questions I must answer. Some of these questions are so generic that I have to wonder who wrote them. Robots? Many thanks must be given to any school that was wise enough to realize “Gee, didn’t I just read about this student’s experience to Africa?” and decided to not require another redundant essay. You have figured out that high school seniors can only be that interesting.

4) Tours

When I went to visit colleges, this summer like every other senior in the United States, I learned two things by visiting these campuses: every college has a quad and that apparently college is easy to get into. I guess that is kind of the point of the tours and info sessions, but the tour guides could at least say “Well honestly...” about SOMETHING! Also, why didn’t I see one dorm room? If I am going to apply and potentially go to your school, I think showing the living situation would be nice. I can’t take your “But don’t worry they are really nice” seriously, because you’re getting paid to make the school look great. Finally, tour guides: stop walking backwards. You look ridiculous when you’re pointing to the dining hall and fall flat on your back.

5) E–Mails and Brochures

How did all of these colleges get my address and email? I understand if I requested more info from one school specifically, but why am I getting at least three brochures daily in the mail? When did the WikiLeaks guy join the College Board? My other problem with this propaganda is the false advertisements. Cornell, are your students really that happy?

To end, Asher Roth, if I don’t LOVE college, then I am going to find you and...I don’t know, but it won’t be good. And to college admissions that somehow get ahold of this tangent of qualms I have with your process, you had it coming.

Sincerely, Julian