Kyle Strang Memorial Creates Space for Grief, Memories

“As the initial shock of Kyle and PJ’s accident has started to fade, the real horror and pain of their absence reveals itself to each of us. Today we are a room full of loving, grieving people who are coming to terms with what it means to live without our student, our CAS–mate, our best friend, our cousin, our nephew, our brother and our son.”

So began Communication Arts and Sciences (CAS) teacher Hasmig Minassian’s address to the group of grieving peers, friends and family of Kyle Harty Strang at his Berkeley High School memorial on Tuesday, April 27 in the Florence Schwimley Little Theater. Friends and family laughed, cried and held each other close as they reflected on Kyle’s character and life, which tragically ended in an automobile accident on March 31. The memorial helped to piece together memories of Kyle from all different areas of his life, from other students in CAS, his extended family and his other close friends.
Strang’s CAS teachers took turns speaking and sharing stories about their first encounters with Strang, touching on everything from his fierce CAS loyalty to, as English teacher Amy Crawford put it, “his beautiful eyes which demanded notice; eyes that were always searching for understanding, truth and what was right.”

Some of his closest friends and family shared emotional and heartfelt speeches about Strang and his dedication to friendship, his Jewish faith and his future.

Strang’s friend Allie McCoy reflected on how she used to sing to Strang on her front porch and how supportive he was. In his memory she sang a song entitled “One Sweet Day,” which touched the heart of many people in the room with lines such as, “I know you’re shining down on me from Heaven/Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way/And I know eventually we’ll be together/One sweet day.”

A memorial video put together by Leib Sutcher and Austin Perkins, close friends of Strang, prompted both laughter and tears. The video wove together childhood video tapes and photographs with audio of friends sharing stories of Kyle and interviews with a few of his CAS–mates and CAS teachers. His friends reflected on Strang’s tenacity, strong sense of determination and purpose, and his love of “always, always, being naked.”

The microphone was then opened up for words from those who hadn’t gotten a chance to share. Friends shared stories depicting Strang’s strong sense of generosity, loyalty and love for those close to him. Strang’s stepmother, Persis, and younger brother, Nico, shared a poem that they had written for Kyle, reflecting on how old he had gotten and how much they wished he could be around to watch Nico grow up as well.

It was clear from the numerous heartfelt and emotional speeches given that Strang greatly touched and impacted the lives of many in diverse ways. The pain of his absence connected an entire community of people who had been affected by his strong and loving presence. Childhood friends connected with his high school peers, aunts and uncles heard the stories of teachers and the entire room came together to honor and cherish the memory of a young man who was just getting ready to set out into the world.

Kyle’s freshmen English teacher Amy Crawford shared her final memory of Kyle coming into her classroom before spring break and starting to interview her for a video project. “I’m hurrying off to little league practice, so I give the interview and have no memory of hugging him—just rushing out,” she reflected. “But what does stand out is how Kyle had changed from that unsure ninth grader I knew and loved.”

“The Kyle who interviewed me knew what was important to him, knew who his friends were, knew who he was and what he wanted to be,” she added.

The Little Theater was full of memories from every aspect of Kyle’s life. Friends and family held each other close as they watched videos of Kyle as a young boy with a head full of curls and looked at pictures of Kyle as a maturing young man. The tragic and sudden loss inspired deep and heartfelt connections through out the community, just as Minassian said in her opening words, “That is what this space here is all about—it’s bringing together all that was best about Kyle, reminding us of the things we’d forgotten about him, teaching us the things we didn’t know and allowing the grandeur of Kyle’s life to resuscitate our broken hearts.”

Photos:

• Kyle's Memorial (Elon Walton)